A Conversation with Mary Lee Painter on: Why We Keep Going

Mary Lee Painter lives in Omaha, Nebraska, and grew up in an Air Force family, moving from place to place before putting down roots. She writes contemporary romance with humor, heart, and a deep understanding of persistence.

Now celebrating a major milestone (signing with one of the “Big 5” publishers for a YA romcom), Mary Lee describes writing not just as a career, but as something that feels “factory-installed” in her brain. When she’s not writing, she enjoys time with her family and watching Minnesota Wild hockey.

Her books include The Other Fork in the Road, Wild in Minnesota, Holiday on the Rocks, and her newest release, Worst Idea Ever.

In this conversation, she reflects on resilience, rejection, and the quiet determination that keeps writers moving forward.

The Conversation

What keeps you writing, even when it’s difficult?

One of the things I love most in the world is writing. It’s literally the only thing I want to do. I’m not saying I’d let my family starve for a plot twist in chapter six, but I am saying I’m pretty sure cereal for dinner hasn’t killed anyone.
I love the process of developing a story and love it even more when an idea comes out of nowhere. If I get stuck on an idea or story, I buy a new book and read someone else’s words. Then when I come back to my project, it’s almost like I can see where the “ick” is and how to fix it.

Have you ever felt like giving up? What helped you continue?

There were many times I felt like giving up. For a decade I wrote and queried searching for an agent. Going the traditional publishing route requires an agent, and it was rejection for a long time. I eventually found the perfect one, but there were times I was so close I could practically taste it, but it turned out the taste was just tears. On a scale of 1 to 10 I’d give finding an agent a solid -4.

But you can’t give up. To push through the urge to torch my laptop, I read something new. Reading is a free education in the way a successful book is written. You can see how the author developed the characters and maneuvered through creating the layers of the story. If I’m in a funk, I also love to watch documentaries about musicians and hear all the crazy obstacles they had to overcome to get where they wanted to go. We all have challenges and just seeing the motivation some people have can be inspiring.

What does persistence look like in your writing life

Persistence for me is to never stop. I’m so grateful for the opportunities I’ve had, and I know it can all disappear in a second, so I just want to try to keep it going. I got my first book deal and had a year before it would be published. While I had nothing beyond that, I wrote like I was under a deadline to complete two books by that date. I wanted to have more than one so if a second opportunity came along, I had one to submit, and a back-up if they didn’t like it.

Is there something small but meaningful that reminds you why you started?

My sister is an amazing friend and author, and when I got my first book deal and it was on Publisher’s Marketplace, she framed it for me. The little framed announcement sits on my desk and is a reminder that the thing I never thought in a million years would happen, did. That we all have our challenges, but we can turn that “No” into a massive “Oh, you just wait.”

What would you say to another writer who is close to giving up?

Finish it. If you start a book, make yourself finish it. Especially if it’s your first one. Even if you know it’s not the best, simply completing it will let you know you can finish the project. Maybe you’ll burn it when you’re done, but now you can figure out what you like and what you can do differently next time. I’d also suggest if you’re struggling, read. Get out of your own head and read something new. See how they wrote their story and let that be a guide for you.

Closing Note

What stands out most in Mary Lee Painter’s words is not just persistence, but perspective. The ability to laugh through rejection, to learn through reading, and to keep showing up even when the outcome is uncertain.

Her journey is a reminder that “making it” rarely happens overnight. It’s built quietly, draft by draft, rejection by rejection, until one day, something shifts.
And when it does, it’s not luck; it’s everything that came before.

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